This one's for Koh Sin Teong who
was always there for me in times of trouble. The song is John Fogerty's Centrefield, an
adventure in constructive living.
This is my first poem. It is a sad piece
about my late uncle and me. It is a true story. I sobbed and wept during the two days I
took to write this. Yes, the tears kept streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably. What a
sight! You see, I have never told my uncle I love him while he was alive. So, go
ahead and have a good cry yourself, today!
After I
cried my heart out in writing this poem, my life began to change dramatically. I felt free
from all the years of guilt within me for not showing my love for my Uncle. He was the
only person to have loved me unconditionally up to that point in my life. My lifetime of
anger and resentment toward my parents also disappeared.
Emotional
expressiveness is a magickal experience. We all have to cry our hearts out from time to
time to purify our souls. If you have not really cried before, I urge you to do so TODAY!
Free yourself from guilt, resentment, anger, fears and other negative feelings.
If you love someone
or something, you ought to express your love for him, her or it today! Tomorrow might be
too late!
MY UNCLE, MY FATHER . . .
I am glad that you drop by to
check on me again tonight,
Many things have happened to me; Still, I am all right.
Today I am ready, able and willing to express myself clearly;
Despite all the hurts, pain and sorrow, I still love you dearly.
With blind faith in my fate, I have struggled on in
frustration -
Doing things... Ever
thinking that success is a destination!
How could you leave me - without even a word or present -
When I have yet to understand your final life lesson?
Be yourself, truly and completely, I remember you said . . .
If I could be simply and only myself, I will have it made;
Self-understanding is the first step to knowing the real Life.
For years I tried, thinking that life is a fraud, that life sucks . . .
Until I realize that I must truly believe before I can
understand,
And I must not misunderstand things just to gain the upper hand.
The greatest thing is to have faith in my life, and in imagining
Within and
without . . . now I feel the rise of a new awakening.
I have traveled and searched the world over, like a scout;
And removed from my mind and heart each and every doubt;
There have
been countless hurts, pain, hardship and sorrow . . .
For the secret of living is not something that I can borrow.
In solitude I nurture
my talents in the heat of the night;
By day, I build my character doing what I believe is right.
Learning only the best and the simplest - no need to reimburse;
For I am ready to help on the purpose of the entire universe!
I know you can live harshly but you choose to live kindly
You could have enjoyed your remaining years, if not blindly;
And yet you dedicated them to my welfare - what a rarity!
While you were living poorly on your rich brother’s charity,
Your life was short and
yet you
choose to dedicate it to me.
I was a stranger you thought to be your son; Blessed be!
You were always doing little things for me without condition;
Uncle, thank you for showing me how to live without ambition.
My childhood was harsh but your kindness made it better;
I could never grow up to suit anyone’s whims to the letter.
My stepfather and mother’s tyranny made us both suffer -
Family ties are meaningless when the members are not friends.
As the caterpillar can
change to a butterfly, so too, can "I";
Forgive my mother, please . . . No more of an eye for an eye.
They hated your Sunday visits but you kept on with impudence;
All’s okay that ends okay - now I live each day in excellence.
Today I am happy to report that I have finally understood
The secret of life, light and love lies within the natural pattern.
Life’s best lessons are learned while not chasing a livelihood;
The way is through prayer, love, individualism and parenthood.
You died a poor bachelor but I will always be your only
son;
As a Tradisian, I shall live generously and zestfully under the
sun.
Rest in peace, Uncle, for your love for me has not been in vain;
You made a difference in my life, even when I was not in any pain.
Now I am making a
difference in the lives of many every day -
My work is helping on the purpose of life - my business and religion.
Promoting the best non-sectarian ways of living without discrimination;
All humanity, all things are equal, and must be free to be as one with life.
Your love for me even when I did not
deserve it is my punishment;
Love and be loved - that is the deterrent and final determinant.
I am the illicit boy without an aim who overcame and gained fame -
You are always my father even if our surnames cannot be the same!
- By TAN KOK HENG
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